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‘After I do’ - episode 2

In case you missed episode 1: After ‘I do’ – Episode 1

“Babe can you help me look for my shoe?”
“Babe? Omolade? love? can you hear me? wake up,I need you to help with my shoes”
I feel Tayo shaking me repeatedly. I groan
As much as I would love to actually help my husband out,I dont have the strength to do it. I sincerely feel very tired this morning. I had stayed up all night reading Karen Kingsbury’s ‘Oceans apart’ book and did not slept till 4 a.m this morning. My eyes are swollen from crying at the event that took place in the book and my body is aggresively reluctant to cut its sleep short. I am hoping Tayo will leave me alone so I firmly close my eyes pretending to still be asleep.

Tayo doesnt give up! Instead he continues to shake me. I become slightly pissed at him. I grumble in my mind “How can this man wake me so early because of a shoe that I don’t have a clue of its whereabout”.
The frown on my face feels like a squashed orange.
“Tayo love I have a headache, please wear another shoe. I’ll help you look for the other one before you come from work “. I say all this still laying on the bed with my eyes closed.I expect that Tayo will let go especially since I had proffered a logical solution to the problem.
“Lade I want that one and no other, please “. Tayo says instead.
His constant bugging finally pursues the sleep off . I get up grudgingly and begin the search of the special shoe Tayo has vowed to wear this morning. I grumble some more and hiss as I look for the shoe.”Honestly, I wonder why he cannot look for it himself, its not as if I wore the shoe or kept it for him”.
I eventually find it in the toilet, I throw him a nasty look.
“When you’re not a child why would you leave your shoe in the toilet”.
He stares at me for a while before collecting the shoe from me. I cannot decipher the look but I feel bad at my response.
As a wife, It’s easy to know what you shouldn’t say or do to your husband but when the test comes everything flies away. I guess the most important thing is taking it from your head to your spirit and then discipline your body to obey.
“Thanks babe, you’re the best “. He says instead.
Even though I don’t apologise to Tayo for my nasty comment,I am remorseful. I hug and make sure I kiss him properly. To assuage my guilt, I help him dress up for work. ‘Love is patient ‘ I hear my spirit say.
“Try to come early o , you know I’ll be bored without you”. I say to him,as I put final touches to his collar.
“Okay. I almost late darling, we would discuss your job hunting when I get back”.
“Love you “.
I smile. My husband is wonderful. I quickly update my status on bbm.
“My husband my everything. I love you beyond words can describe.”
I am further reassured of this when he keeps to word by coming home early. He spends the entire evening helping with my job applications.I am overwhelmed with joy and gratitude.As it has become my new habit I decide to express this feelings on social media. “When you love someone you let the whole world know init?”
Thank God I am married to the man of my dreams,my husband, my best friend, my soul mate , my bed mate and my heart. I’ll love you to the ends of the earth.
“would rather tell the world about your love for him than tell the one who you love himself”. My spirit says.
I stop in my track to ruminate over it.”I’ll tell him when he comes”.
“Send a text”
“Later”. I say to myself but make a mental note to add it to my it entry. I hope I don’t forget.
I look at my not-to- close, once close but we drifted apart , only says hello after I put up an extremely fine picture as my dp, Bbm friend Ashley weeping her eyes and almost heart out. I do not know what to do at the moment as I had not expected the breaking of a water dam.
“I don’t know what to do Omolade”. She wails,wiping dripping nose with the back of her palm. She shakes her head vigorously as if trying to deny or fling the pain away”.
“There’s nothing I haven’t done for him. I swear I am not lying, things that I would never think of doing but for love I did”.
“Can you imagine him telling me that the economy is bad and we should spend less?”
“That’s not a bad thing”. I think. I am wondering what message Ashley is trying to pass. I wait for her to continue.
“It is well”. I voice out the universal acceptable phrase one is expected to say to anyone hurting or most times for lack of what to say.
“Its not bad to save money”. I voice out again as a bait for her to complete her gist. Instead all I get is more crying, sniffs and ‘Omolade you can’t understand’.
“For the life of me, did she just say that to me? That I cannot understand?”
“Hian! See me see wahala ooooo”. I clap back and forth, shaking my head in anger. All this I do in my mind but I make sure I voice out ‘it is well’ every 5 minute or so to a weeping Ashley.
“But wait o,how can someone come all the way to my house to cry and they end up telling me I can’t understand. I don’t understand what exactly I cannot understand. Do I look like a brainless chicken unable to process or even understand the conjunction of several words with the use of appropriate tenses and parts of speech to form coherent sentences in order to pass a message? .
“Can you imagine?” I hear Ashley say accompanied with a fresh bout of tears.
I am completely lost but I cannot ask her to repeat herself.
“Really? I cannot believe he did that. You said he did what again? “I ask putting up the right act of surprise and concern in my voice and on my face. I am glad when she falls for my act and repeats herself.
“He bought a brand new car for his side chick yet he has the gut to tell me we need to spend less”. Ashley replies amidst tears.
I feel very bad for her but angry at her so called husband for acting like a man without complete brains in his skull.
“What! That is nonsense, total rubbish. Odi di car! You mean a whole car? If it’s even perfume or wristwatch abi dress it’s still almost acceptable. Car keh? “. I can’t help myself from exclaiming. ” ko ni da fun obinrin yen”.The more I think about it,the angrier I become. I can’t help myself from expressing myself so I begin to pace the sitting room, cursing in both yoruba and English. In the midst of my anger I am careful not to blame Ashley ‘s husband for acting like a dog without a owner so I direct my curse only on the woman involved. God forgive me o
“I trust Tayo, he dares not try that nonsense with me. Never!!! “. All this while I do not realise that my anger has risen to another level to the point where I feel Ashley hands on my elbow calming me down.
” Wait jare. Na today? “. Ashley says in pidgin
I look at her, confusion written all over my face ” What do you mean? ” I ask.
” Stop acting like a newbee. Yo babe let me tell you something, you better listen and take me seriously “.
My attention is piqued. It’s funny how position have been swapped with Ashley advising me when I am supposed to be talking to her and comforting her through soothing words of encouragement. After all its her husband that went to buy car for his side chick.
“Talk jare. Which one is all this suspense”. I say impatiently.
“Omolade I know you ooo that’s why I want to take it slowly . If I tell you what I want to say , you will be quoting scripture for me. Me I am not saying your scriptures are not good oo I am just saying that there are realities of life that you need to know and some of them are not in the scriptures. Even the bible says wisdom is profitable to direct”.
For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sights. He catches the wise in their craftiness.
“Ashley talk if you’re talking and let me hear word”. I lash out,ignoring the message whispered in the alcove of my heart. My ears are itching to hear and I am impatient.
‘Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life.
“After I hear this gist I will guard my heart. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak”.
What started as a bbm chat turned into an unexpected visit from Ashley who is now telling me things I need to know. Now I know the only reason she’s here is to confirm that I’m loving my husband as I tell the world on social media.
“I am not the devil but I will say reset your mind”. She’s saying to me.
“You see all that nonsense they told you in marraige counselling class. .yimu. The people that taught you have issues in their marraige. Check them out! They are all pretenders”. She adds
“Madam it’s enough jare. Just say what you have to say”. I am impatient to hear her say what she has to say. I am hoping that she says something of great value and use to me with all the drama and suspense that she has added.
I watch her compress her lips tightly, she moves to the edge of the chair, her body is bent forward, hands on her lap. “All men cheat”. She delivers
I wait for for more…..Nothing!
“Ehn ehn is that all”. I respond with a hiss to accompany it. Did she have to do all that drama to say that cliché? What a waste of time”.I conclude in my mind. It’s my turn to take the Mike in this conversation. I begin…
“Ashley! Ashley! Ashley!… I have called you three times abi… I have heard that all men cheat.In summary, shebi you’re telling me to expect Tayo to be unfaithful to me abi?”. My eyebrow is raised questioning her statement.
“I did not say that o. Don’t put me in trouble “. Ashley replies quickly.
I laugh. “Ashley is my husband not a man?”. When she remains quiet not that I expect her to answer I continue to probe her. “Madam experienced marraige counsellor, since you’re certain that all men cheat, what do you advice us to do if we suspect them or let’s say catch them?”.
“You see why I was reluctant to tell you anything. You’re acting like a tata! a baby! You have failed to know the realities of life and I pray you don’t get your fingers burnt . Me I am not saying you should do anything, I can’t make that decision for you but don’t just be surprised if..”
“Abeg it’s okay”. I cut her off. “Which one is all that naaa? Don’t let me change it for you . If you cannot answer the question say you cannot answer it; why are you mixing epistle with insult “. I retort angrily.
‘For once you were in darkness,but now you are light in the lord .Walk as a child of light.’
“Ehn ehn Omolade its me you’re talking to like that ? No vex, na me waka come meet you, come open mouth talk. I expected you to have grown since you’re married but obviously not!. nonsense!”.
I am boiling with rage at this point, I don’t mind if whatever I say upsets her.
“Ashley dear,come to think of it, I am actually surprised that you cried over Carmen in the first place , especially since you’ve accepted that it’s normal for a married man including him to cheat . I pause a bit for special effects. I need my words to hit the right note.
“Why are you surprised that he bought a car for his side chick ? or are you gullible to think that the babe would give your darling husband her ynash to knack for free? I am sure she didn’t get the memo on the less spending thingy that Carmen spoke to you about “. I retort with a smirk on my face.
Ashley jumps off in anger.”Omolade you’re running your mouth cos’ I came here abi?.I wonder what friends you’ll call when you start to experience the reality of marraige “.
“My life is upward and forward, things can only get better for me, I reject every evil thoughts towards me! It shall not manifest!jealousy woooooo! “. I chant and scream as I practically walk her out of my house .
My anger makes me restless.
“All this bad belle people claiming to be friends.How will Tayo cheat on me when he did not even kiss or touch me till our wedding night. How many men can do that? Not even the ones that act holier than thou. Cheat indeed! If Tayo could honor God’s word in the past, then honoring our vow is a piece of cake “. I say to myself.
“What about you? Can you honor your vow and not cheat on your husband? “.
I laugh at the thought.
“Small thing. I am not like all those useless shameless women that cheat on their husband; what will even make me cheat?”.I boast to myself, I am confident in my ability.
It’s not of him that wills,nor of him that runs but of God that shows mercy.
I shake the thoughts off my head and I pick up my phone instead.‘block her on bbm’.
“Its true o, why didn’t I think of it earlier”. I say to myself. I scroll through my contact looking for Ashley’s name so I could delete her off my bbm contact. It takes a while for me to locate her and that’s because the stupid girl used ‘SexymrsC ‘ as her display name. I was only able to locate her because of the picture she used of her and her husband laughing on the beach as her display picture . It makes me laugh.
”Nonsense pretenders of life;so she can cry that her boo bought his sidechick a car, yet she’s still be using ‘SexymrsC’. Mrs C as in Carmen, her husband’s name. It is well o”.
I feel victorious for having an upper hand in the verbal fight with Ashley earlier, I am elated that I blocked her first and I am going to round it up by telling my husband. I am sure he will be happy at my response and the confidence I have placed in him.
“What’s making you happy?”. Tayo ask querying my excitement. He has just come back from work and I am dragging him to the table so I can conveniently pour out my gist.
“Can’t I be happy again?” I pout
“Babe I know you . Spill already “. He says
I eagerly give him the detailed gist of the incidence between Ashley and I. He doesn’t interrupt instead he listens carefully. His eyes are focused on me and I take that as a cue to elaborate and exaggerate the story.
“Omolade when last did you pray?”. He ask out of the blues.
“Wait o”. I am thinking to myself. “Did I mistakenly pass another message to Tayo cos’ I clearly do not see the correlation between the information I just passed to him and the question he has asked.
Why? I ask,confused.
“Don’t bother answering that,I already got what I was looking for “. Tayo says before walking away from me.
“This must be a prank “. I say to myself but after 2 hours and still no sign of Tayo I begin to analyse my afternoon discussion with Ashley.
I become afraid. ” I hope this evil girl’s thoughts is not already manifesting. Mogbe! “.
“Or maybe he’s angry cos’ he agrees that all men should cheat or is he angry at what I said this morning? “.I worry myself to weakness.
I feel helpless, I begin to cry!
“Ashley has put me in trouble ooo”.

Episode 3 here:  After “I do” - Episode 3
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